


A Ghost Inside My Chest

by RiseoftheBlossom



Series: Commissions [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, non-massacre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24370933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiseoftheBlossom/pseuds/RiseoftheBlossom
Summary: "We're civilians for a reason," Kizashi muttered gruffly after several long minutes, their staredown continuing. "You might not be proud of our ancestry, but choices were made for a reason and I am honoured to possess the Haruno name."
Relationships: Uchiha Madara/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Commissions [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751041
Comments: 13
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Commissioned by Shikabootay!

It was so unfair.

How was she supposed to keep up with the others when they had so much going for them? When they had clans to practice with or already had personal teachers to work on their jutsu with them?

All she had were the sensei at the academy and their time was divided amongst the students – not equally, either. They appeared to naturally gravitate towards the students with the most promise, placing them on pedestals and continuously informing the rest of the class that they should aspire to be more like them. The saddest part was that it worked, too. They idolised the strongest, most talented in their classes, but it came at a price, for they all damned themselves for not being more like them. At least, she did.

Her friends were all members of clans – if not the heirs or heiresses of said clans – and trying to keep up with them was asking for the impossible.

No, she wasn't stupid enough to believe that chakra reserves and stamina were inherited – duh, right? – but she _did_ know thanks to those friends that they were trained from a young age to nurture said reserves, although that didn't necessarily mean it would increase. It simply meant they knew how to handle it all, how to replenish it faster or even how to use it to their advantage.

Saying that, it _was_ possible to create more and store it away – or so their sensei, Iruka, had stated one day during a lesson on chakra. He'd mentioned one of the Legendary Sannin to use as an example, saying Senju Tsunade had mastered the technique and had reserves that were rumoured to rival that of a tailed beast. She wasn't sure if she believed that just yet, though. There was every chance he was merely trying to hype the legends of their village up to motivate the class.

How did one go about boosting their reserves if it was a possibility? How could she better herself when it already felt like she'd tried everything? Was she stuck already at just eleven years old? How tragic was that, if true?

Scooping low to grab a decently sized stone, she tossed it in her hand several times, assessing the lake before her critically like it would give her the answers she needed.

Damn it. Why couldn't she have been born into a cool clan like Uchiha Sasuke? His older brother was always the talk of the village – he'd yet to fail a mission and was known as _the_ prodigy of the Uchiha Clan.

Or even Yamanaka Ino's! She'd seen her rival working tirelessly on her mind transfer jutsu, though she refused to show the fruits of her labour, saying she needed aces up her sleeve if they were ever going to face off again. After all, they were fairly equal when it came to taijutsu, but that was only because all girls were trained with the same basic moves – their sensei said it wouldn't be until they were placed onto teams that they'd find their own style. The only ones who had their own style (that she knew of) were those of prestigious clans like the Uchiha and Hyuuga.

As for her own family – _family_ not _clan_ – they were all civilians who disliked the horrors of the shinobi world, though as her mother had married into the Haruno family, she was more lax with the strict ideals and relished the thought of a daughter who could defend herself, even if she never progressed further than genin. To her, obtaining a genin status in a family such as theirs was a miracle and she would die a happy woman to see it happen.

That was probably where her need to please came from, she concluded sulkily and tossed the pebble across the lake, only to sigh dejectedly when it sunk after just a second.

She'd never gotten the hang of that trick, either.

There was so much she didn't _get_.

Books – textbooks were simple and novels were often predictable, so she _got them_. She loved losing herself in a book and learning new things, though that wasn't all that surprising as, according to Iruka, she leaned more on the visual learning style than kinesthetic or auditory. It was everything else that was difficult to her.

"Oh, Sakura. You're here."

She looked over her shoulder with a noticeable pout as her father carefully made his way down the slope of grass, his sandals slipping in various places and indicating his lack of grace and confidence. She'd taken all of two seconds to descend, never sliding once.

For a civilian, she supposed her father was pretty well built – he looked more intimidating than the sensei at the academy, anyway. Then again, most shinobi she saw around were all lean rather than bulky, like they were built more for speed (except for the Akimichi Clan, obviously).

That was where all impressiveness stopped, however. He was a teddy bear really and always struggled in being stern. It was her mother who was the total hard ass. She embarrassingly wore the pants in that relationship, leading many to look on with pity in their gazes whenever she snapped at him in public or asserted her dominance.

"Mama's looking for you," he told her with a smile once he managed to join her. "Dinner's almost ready."

She would have sent him out to look for her, then. In her mother's eyes, there was no excuse to skip a home-cooked meal she'd slaved hours over. Sakura wondered if she would be the same once the time came to take missions, or if she would finally hate the shinobi lifestyle.

She looked out at the lake once more, admiring the sparkling water as the setting sun bounced off it and threatened to blind her. The sight was too pretty to look away, though.

Sighing, Sakura crouched low and picked up another four pebbles. There were always plenty on that embankment, though due to the grass being overdue a trimming (complete with weeds sprouting through also), it was slightly harder to find them, leaving her to search through the blades that tickled her wrists and arms.

Although she could feel her father's worried gaze, Sakura refused to meet his eye, instead standing and trying her luck once more with skimming the pebble along the water, but once again, she failed, the sight of the ripples making her angry and lash out, the other three pebbles hitting the water with loud _plops_ hidden behind her yell of frustration.

Chuckling beside her threatened to blind Sakura with her anger.

"You're being too rough," her father insisted and leaned down with a familiar _cracking_ of his knees, the sound never failing to make her cringe inwardly. Then, with a huff of exertion after patting his hand around in the long grass for a few moments, Kizashi was up again, running his thumb along a pebble. "The trick is finding a pebble that feels even in weight, rather than bulky and uneven."

Yeah, for a civilian maybe–

Green eyes widened comically when her father managed to skim the pebble perfectly to the other side of the lake, her jaw dropping.

"See?" he questioned smugly, rubbing beneath his nose with a grin. "Your old dad has a few tricks too, you know."

That was where it ended, though. Gods, if only he could have shown her how to fight and handle herself in battle. _That_ would've been more awesome than throwing a lousy stone.

Perhaps sensing her continuing foul mood, he sobered considerably. "It's okay not to be good at something-"

"Easy for you to say," she snapped without restraint. Busying herself with searching for more stones, she clenched her jaw, trying to ignore the stinging of her eyes. "You're not the weakest person in your class who lacks any kind of talent!"

"Don't say that," Kizashi tried to scold lightly, but as usual, there was no strength in his words. "You're the smartest kid I know-"

"But not _strong_ or _talented._ Some of them can breathe _fire_ or shut down a person's chakra with just one hit, Dad!"

She happened to glance his way just in time to see his tired blue eyes sadden momentarily, looking out at the lake like he couldn't face her anguish.

Well, at least _he_ could get away from it.

"I can just about keep up with the rest of them," she told him angrily and stood up once more, fists clenching around the handful of stones she'd found. "I'm the only student from a civilian family-"

"Because others know how difficult it is to become a shinobi when you're brought up as a civilian," he argued calmly, quietly. "That is part of the reason why so many in our family outright refuse to allow their children to go into that lifestyle."

_Say it_ , she dared him mentally. _Say what you always tell Mama._

"People glorify the shinobi lifestyle, Sakura," continued her father solemnly, though he continued to refuse to look her way. Couldn't he handle her bad mood? Damn it, he was so pitiful, especially when compared to her mother, never mind a shinobi. "But it's not how it appears at all. People die."

_Say it._

"They take lives and have the lives of their friends and lovers taken."

_Say it,_ she inwardly growled, the stinging pain of her palms somehow failing to capture her attention.

"People lose themselves."

_Just hurry up and say it, you stupid old–_

"Shinobi are murderers," he finally said what she'd heard him tell her mother time and time again during their routine arguments. But still, even though he'd plucked up enough courage to tell her that, he still didn't look at her and it fuelled her rage. "It doesn't matter which way you look at it. All shinobi are murderers and they try to hide behind the pitiful excuse of it being ordered of them."

It was why he didn't want her to become a kunoichi. It was why he'd fought her mother so hard when she happily insisted that joining the academy would be good for their daughter. In his eyes, becoming a kunoichi meant she would become a cold-hearted murderer.

"Civilians aren't cut out for that lifestyle," he continued, either ignoring or failing to notice her darkening aura. Even that idiot Uzumaki Naruto knew that it meant danger and ran for miles to avoid her wrath. "Most shinobi aren't cut out for it, either."

Yeah? Well she was. It didn't matter what he said about it.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were raised as a shinobi, or if we were part of a clan," she accused fiercely, glaring.

His responding silence solidified her thoughts that he was nothing more than a weak old man who couldn't even verbally fight his daughter or wife – no, not fight, but argue with. Gods, he was… He was _so_ …

"This family is _so lame!"_ she yelled shrilly while ignoring her own angry tears. "I wish I was born into a clan!"

Finally, he was brave enough to look her way and Sakura gritted her teeth at the sight of his hurt. She hated that it made her feel guilty for hurting him when all she was trying to do was argue her own damn case. Why did she feel like she couldn't talk to him? That he would condemn her lifestyle choices no matter how sound her argument was? How was she ever supposed to talk to him about the things that bothered her?

"We're civilians for a reason," Kizashi muttered gruffly after several long minutes, their staredown continuing. "You might not be proud of our ancestry, but choices were made for a reason and I am honoured to possess the Haruno name."

Her glare continued even as her father turned his back on her, although there was no denying the shaking of Sakura's shoulders or the wetness of her cheeks.

"Hurry up," he then said without looking back at her. "Your mother is expecting us."


	2. Chapter 2

Gone.

Sasuke was…

He had left them.

Standing in the cover of the trees, Sakura's nail dug into the bark of the one she leaned against, eyes glued to the ferocious training of her final teammate. He was going all out despite only _just_ being out of the hospital and while part of her wanted to yell at him to take it easy, she knew to stay out of his way. He needed to vent.

It'd been raining for at least an hour, but it didn't seem to register with the blond, his shouts of frustration and pain lost to the downpour. She herself was bordering on becoming soaked, however she couldn't find it in herself to care.

She'd vowed to become stronger, to actually be capable of helping out the next time they found a lead on their friend's whereabouts – had taken that first step by approaching not just anyone, but their Godaime Hokage and _demanded_ that she make her, her student – but part of her felt as though it was a lost cause because what did she really have to offer?

She shuddered following a strong gust of wind, only to glance up with a startled gasp when she found herself shielded from the rain, blinking in surprise at the sight of the proud enigma of a man standing by her side suddenly. Up until that moment, she'd been alone in her watching. Had he been watching her? Or had he merely happened upon her?

"Itachi-san," she greeted politely, offering a faint twitch of her lips.

"You will get sick," he chastised. He didn't look at her, however somehow, he still noticed her absentminded nod, because her blatant dismissal of the conversation prompted him to say, "I heard you are studying under Hokage-sama now."

Everyone had. The majority of them congratulated her on the apprenticeship and wished her luck, whereas others doubted her ability to study under such a fierce woman. And it rubbed off on her because now, she doubted herself too.

She was studying under Senju Tsunade – _Senju._ She was from _the_ founding clan of Konoha and was the freaking Shodai's granddaughter. Her medical ninjutsu alone made her one of the greatest kunoichi in the world. How was she supposed to keep up with that? Would she even be able to learn anything?

"Yeah," she mumbled.

The distant response finally had Itachi looking her way and she noticed his raising of an eyebrow. "You seem displeased."

Sakura sighed at that and turned to face him fully, leaning back against the tree. It took her out of the umbrella's cover and Itachi fixed the issue instantly by holding it out a little further.

He'd always been kind to her. When Kakashi was needed on a string of missions not long before the chūnin exams, Sasuke had been undeniably furious and demanded they be given another sensei and when that demand was ignored, he finally approached his brother, asking that he took over in Kakashi's absence.

Was training under Uchiha Itachi intimidating? Hell yeah. And part of her felt guilty too, like they were going behind the back of the man who'd repeatedly put his life on the line saving their reckless asses. However, it'd worked out somehow. Sasuke flourished under his brother's teachings for a while, his sharingan improving impressively.

Naruto had already been drifting at that time, so they hadn't taken much offence when he disappeared with his current shishou, Jiraiya.

She had… struggled. Like always. But the man beside her had the patience of a saint and had even reprimanded Sasuke when he muttered to leave her, for she was useless at picking up jutsu. His words had seemed to make Itachi more determined in his teachings and rather than set her random tasks to complete alone, he'd asked her what she was best at.

Genjutsu, they'd soon found she had a knack for.

He'd smiled at that, saying it must have been fate he was covering for the absent Kakashi, for he was friends with _the_ greatest genjutsu users since Uchiha Madara's time.

Sasuke's reaction to Uchiha Shisui's attendance during their training sessions (and his dedication to her alone) from that day forward would've been comical if it wasn't accompanied by her feeling massively disheartened. It was like Sasuke believed she wasn't worth Shisui's time of day.

Luckily for her, he was a man with equal amounts of patience, though she was scared as hell practising her genjutsu on him.

"I'm not," she assured him with a heavy sigh. Glancing back to Naruto's training from the corner of her eye, she gestured to him, saying unevenly, "I just can't…"

"Compete?"

Sakura nodded.

"You are being too hard on yourself," Itachi told her, following her line of sight. "Uzumaki Naruto is abnormal and has certain factors working in his favour, at times."

What did that even mean? People were always so vague about Naruto, including their sensei. He never delved into _why_ Naruto healed faster than the rest of them, not even when he made the comment himself and left their curious minds to come up with ridiculous theories. He remarked on the blond's stamina and how it tired him out, saying it was only to be expected, but never explained further. It was infuriating.

"Give it time and give it your all," continued the Uchiha with a ghost of a smile. He hadn't truly smiled in a while now, she realised.

Gods, she was a horrible person. She hadn't even asked how he or his parents were doing with Sasuke's desertion. Then again, he was private as hell and asking seemed so impolite – when she knew how private he was, she meant. Did she ask for the sake of formality?

"What if I can't do it?" she questioned instead with a grimace. Rubbing restlessly at her arm as the chill finally began to set in, Sakura looked up to Itachi. "Hokage-sama is… She's _Senju_ Tsunade and I'm just…" Her lips twitched in a pitiful attempt to hide the dimpling of her chin as the weight of her inadequacy kicked in at full force. "I'm from a civilian family."

"You also believed you couldn't impress Shisui with your genjutsu," he retorted simply. "He tells me you are much faster at detecting them now."

Well, she kind of had to be. The guy was ruthless and attacked her when she was least expecting it.

Not long before the chūnin exams, she'd been helping her mother out with grocery shopping when she'd walked straight into a powerful genjutsu that had her believing the village was under attack. Everything was so incredibly detailed, to the extent where she'd almost punched a random guy before she finally realised it was genjutsu. Her mother had been horrified by the apparently random burst of psychotic behaviour, but fortunately for Sakura's sake, Shisui had explained it was just training and she had nothing to worry about.

"You are capable, Sakura-san," he reassured her. "Please, believe in yourself."

"Do you think it'd be enough? Studying under Hokage-sama and Shisui-sensei?"

He knew what she was speaking in reference to. She knew just by the minute tensing of his jaw.

"You will never know unless you try."

* * *

Slamming the door shut with a loud yell of anger, Sakura turned and prided herself on the fact she got the last word.

She and her father had a tumultuous relationship, but it was safe to say that it grew progressively worse throughout the years.

He didn't understand many aspects of her life – or her in general.

When she fell into the dreaded pit of depression following Sasuke's desertion, her father failed to understand why it hit her so hard and why it was seemingly impossible for her to shake the betrayal. He continuously made wise cracks regarding her wayward teammate, to the point where she would storm off on the verge of tears and leave him at the mercy of her fuming mother.

Then, he didn't understand why she became the Godaime Hokage's apprentice or Uchiha Shisui's student (when he had the time), or why her mother was elated with the tutelage. The first goddamn question he asked was: why bother? Again, she left him at her mother's mercy, for she knew the alternative was dangerously thin ice that she couldn't risk breaking again.

There were so many things that he apparently couldn't comprehend and no matter how much she explained to him _why_ it mattered, he _still_ didn't understand, much to her frustration.

Or perhaps it was because he didn't want to understand? Was that why they constantly butt heads?

Sighing, Sakura entered the Hokage Tower, prepared for a gruelling day of training.

As much as she complained about the harshness of her training, she knew she wouldn't have it any other way. She respected her former sensei, truly she did, but she was stagnant under his tutelage and she knew Kakashi knew that too (his main focus had always been Sasuke and at the time she hadn't understood why he centred on him rather than the team as a whole), especially given how busy he now was with higher ranked missions.

To better herself, to keep up with her teammates and be strong enough to bring Sasuke home, she knew studying under Senju Tsunade and Uchiha Shisui was her best bet. For starters, she was one of the most talented kunoichi in the world, was the only medic who could fight on the front line. Better yet, she'd read that the blonde's presence alone made a huge difference out on the battlefield. Then, there was Shisui. Gods, where to even begin? He was impossibly fast and was _the_ best genjutsu user throughout the nations.

If she was capable of even _half_ her shishou's strength or Shisui's abilities, then Sakura would be ecstatic.

Greeting those working in the tower that day, she made her way straight to the Hokage's office despite being early. Hopefully, her shishou wasn't hungover as it always put her in the worst mood. Some even speculated and said it turned her into a sadist, while others said that was just Tsunade's personality in general. She'd yet to make a decision, for it was much too soon.

Shizune – her sibling disciple – was just leaving and paused in the doorway to greet her with a warm smile.

That reminded her, actually. At some point in the future, she _had_ to ask for a few lessons in poisons since it was the woman's speciality and Tsunade's proud mentioning of Shizune's aptitude for poisons had left Sakura yearning to be on that level.

If she was serious about helping in going after Sasuke, then she had to better herself. She had to improve on all levels. As much as she didn't want to harm her friend, she knew she had to make a statement somehow. Just as Naruto was threatening to break every bone in Sasuke's body to drag him back with little resistance, she would learn a nonlethal but (temporarily) paralysing poison to subdue him. It would most likely be her only way of going up against someone of the Uchiha Clan – not just any Uchiha, but an Uchiha studying under the grotesque Orochimaru.

…Unless she mastered her shishou's monstrous strength, then she would join Naruto in breaking those bones, knowing she was fully capable of healing him afterwards (hopefully). Sasuke certainly wouldn't expect _that_ of her.

"Tsunade-sama is due to attend a last-minute meeting with the elders," Shizune informed her apologetically. "However, she asked that you stick around for a few hours until she is ready to begin your training."

Stick around the Hokage Tower for a few hours? But… What would she do in that time? Those old cranks were able to drone on for hours over the smallest of things and Sakura worried that a whole day would be wasted.

"There are a few scrolls worth reading in the archive room," insisted Shizune. No doubt she sensed Sakura's disliking of wasting a few hours doing nothing – she was the same, she believed, for Shizune was always busy with one task or another. "Tsunade-sama has given you permission to research her jutsu and history further, to give you a sample of what is to come of your apprenticeship."

_That_ captured her attention, effectively beating the bad mood out of her.

Smiling – nearly grinning – with excitement, she all but demanded, "You mean it?"

Shizune's responding smile was warm. "Of course. All that she asks is that you do not enter the restricted area without asking for permission beforehand. There are many dangerous seals in place that will be activated if you do so."

Well, at least they warned her. Sakura envisioned the countless horrors that could be bestowed upon her, shuddering delicately.

"Tsunade-sama or I will find you once the meeting is over."

"Thank you!"

* * *

There were so many scrolls that were open to the public to read, Sakura marvelled. She'd assumed it would all be under lock and key, for surely some of it held highly classified information?

_Don't be stupid,_ she thought to herself with a snort. They obviously would have separated highly classified information. They weren't idiots!

Still…

Breathing out a weighted breath of anticipation, Sakura perused the contents of Tsunade's history, soaking in the information greedily. Just the section about mission success rates was astonishing and left Sakura with a burst of pride in her chest, because _damn_ , the woman was intense and got shit done! And that woman was _her shishou._

Curling up against the bookshelf with her knees close to her chest, Sakura rested the scroll on them, skimming the pages and admiring the artistic handwriting of her shishou. Usually, doctors had the worst handwriting that appeared more like a child's scribbles, but not her. She took time and effort to ensure every word was legible.

The contents skimmed briefly over jutsu used during missions, but for the most part, it seemed Tsunade had stuck to being the medic of the squads she was part of – at least, Sakura read later on, until she activated her seal.

Would she ever be able to activate such a powerful seal? She didn't immediately shut down the idea like she usually did, instead allowing her mind to wander as Sakura leaned back against the bookcase, eyes growing distant as she imagined what that would be like.

People would _have_ to acknowledge her then, including her father and Sasuke. They _had_ to admire her growth and worth.

But…

What did that seal even do? Sakura had heard stories, but Tsunade had yet to discuss it in their training. Granted, it'd only been a few months since she became her apprentice, but still. All Sakura really knew was that it was a highly classified jutsu that had something to do with storing away chakra. From what Naruto told her following the battle with Orochimaru and Kabuto, she'd used it to heal herself, however information from the blond was vague at best so Sakura knew already she was missing parts of the puzzle. Did it increase her power, at all? Was it the reasoning behind her monstrous strength? Was it true that it was the seal that kept her young?

Picturing herself with the very same purple diamond on her forehead had Sakura growing giddy like a child, excitement blooming in her chest.

Was it a bloodline limit, though? The pessimistic part of herself questioned sourly. Was there a reason why Shizune didn't have it? Would she even be able to use it?

She returned her gaze to the section of the archives she'd been reading through: the Senju Clan. Not wanting to upset her shishou or push her luck, she'd stuck to reading only about the woman and her past. But… Gods, it was so tempting to read more. Would Tsunade be mad at her if she did, Sakura wondered?

Better yet: would it be worth angering her?

Then again, why would her shishou be angry with her?

Deciding to hell with it, Sakura carefully rolled the scroll shut and placed it back into its rightful place, gaze lingering on the others while doing so. Dust had collected in front of them and she swiped her finger across the shelf, surveying the thickness of it that told her it'd been a while since anybody had read the histories of the Senju Clan.

It appeared to be like that for countless other clans, Sakura noticed when she glanced to the other end of the aisle, taking note of the Uchiha's archives. Theirs were significantly larger and she knew that was solely due to how many remained in the village (and added to it daily), whereas she'd only met or heard of a handful of Senju clansmen. Had they left the village? Were they wanderers like her shishou? Had they simply died out?

She wondered if her own family had a collection of scrolls before dismissing the thought with a sigh of dejection. It was stupid even wondering about it, wasn't it? Who would want to document the history of a civilian family?

Unless…

From what Sakura knew of her family history, they'd always been in Konoha – ever since it was founded, if she wasn't mistaken. So… So, surely that meant the Haruno family would have been documented somewhere down the line? At the very least as an acknowledgement if nothing else?

Was there even a civilian section?

Releasing the scroll at the very beginning of the Senju Clan's archives, she perused the multitude of aisles, peering around corners with a thoughtful frown for what felt like forever, her fragile hope diminishing the longer it took.

And then, she caught sight of the civilian founding families – the only section involving civilians, though she couldn't really blame whoever created the archives for that. Civilians were boring as hell. What exactly would be written there? That they opened their store or lounged around on the sofa all day?

Rolling her eyes as she imagined her father's life story listed there and the embarrassment she would feel in response, Sakura approached the section, eyeing the surrounding area to ensure she wasn't entering a restricted section. Fortunately for her curiosity, she wasn't.

The dust that had collected in front of the Senju archives had nothing on this, Sakura thought with a grimace. Part of her didn't even want to touch it, but she knew she would have no choice but to, especially when she spotted the emblem of her family.

Despite her previous thoughts on how boring her family was, excitement got the best of her and she was quick to swipe the first scroll in the entire shelf belonging to her family, opening it without a second thought.

It was written beautifully – more beautiful than Tsunade's handwriting, Sakura noted instantly, although already, she'd spotted a few ancient symbols she couldn't understand.

How insane was it that her family obtained a section in the archive's room? It wasn't as extensive as some of the others, but it certainly appeared to be greater than the other civilians. Why had her father never mentioned their family's past?

"What?" she wondered aloud, frowning as Sakura double-checked the date before carrying said scroll back to the Senju section.

Grabbing the first scroll belonging to their portion of the archive's room, her frown only deepened when she found it belonged to (what she presumed to be) the Shodai Hokage's great-grandfather. Not only that, but it was impossible for her to decipher any of it. It was written in ancient symbols that she couldn't fully comprehend, although it appeared the numbers remained relatively the same.

Perhaps it was due to how fiercely the clans fought back then? Perhaps each clan had their own codes to keep the risk of their messages or scrolls being interpreted to a minimum?

Now beyond curious, Sakura moved over to the Uchiha section and grabbed their first scroll, too.

_And she was right!_

Each clan had their own language, in a sense, Sakura discovered with a burst of glee.

"Sakura? Are you in here?"

"Shit," she cursed under her breath, but even that slight utterance gave her position away and before she had the chance to put away the three scrolls, her shishou was appearing at the top of aisle, hands on hips. Much to her gratefulness, there was no annoyance in her features – if anything, she seemed somewhat relieved to find her.

Tsunade was an imposing figure to say the least and even several months down the line, Sakura had yet to grow used to her intimidating presence. The woman had a heart of gold deep down though. She knew that for a fact from simply watching her as she'd agonised over Sasuke's desertion (and choice to study with her monstrous former teammate) and on a particularly down day for Sakura, had treated her to lunch. That afternoon, they'd forgone training under the guise that Tsunade believed it best to get to know one another on a more personal level. So, instead of training, they shared their pasts and heartbreaks.

That day would never be forgotten by her, Sakura knew that for a fact. It'd felt like she'd gotten to see a side of the Hokage that only her precious people saw.

"What are you doing?" she asked, tone vaguely curious.

Smiling sheepishly and knowing there was no sweet talking her way out of being so nosy, Sakura raised the three scrolls. "I, um… I found that I couldn't fully understand the writing in a scroll I picked up-"

"You went that far back? Why?"

Her shishou seemed impressed, though she knew not to get her hopes up. The chances of being admonished for reading more than she was supposed to was still pretty high.

"W-Well…" Hesitantly, she juggled the scrolls around and held out her family's one, to which even Tsunade seemed surprised as she caught sight of the emblem. "I know it's strictly civilians, but I was curious about my family's history and when I spotted a language I couldn't understand, I compared it to one of your clansmen's scrolls and found it was different there, too."

"So, you decided to delve deeper," she surmised, gaze drifting to the Uchiha scroll. "Each clan possessed their own codes, but I'm sure you deduced that already."

She nodded with another sheepish smile.

Was she in trouble?

"Although, it's curious as to why your ancestor is using a different language," Tsunade continued while returning to skimming through the scroll. "From my understanding, civilians didn't need to do that."

Wait, did that mean…?

"How peculiar," she murmured.

"What is it?" Sakura had to fight back the urge to demand answers from her shishou.

Was she really from a shinobi clan? Had her father lied to her? Was there some kind of exciting history? Any bloodline limits she'd never known about?

At the beckoning of her shishou, Sakura stepped closer and looked at the scroll from over the woman's shoulder, eyes widening a fraction at the tapping of a red painted nail on a name burned into the history of their village.

"If I'm deciphering this correctly, then this particular woman you were reading about," she said with surprise, "was tied to Uchiha Madara."

What…?

"As in…?"

She hummed affirmatively. "As in lovers."

Lovers.

_Holy shit._


	3. Chapter 3

Lovers.

_Lovers._

There was no real way of knowing if she had any sort of tie to the woman she was reading about, or whether she happened to be just another Haruno. Did Sakura want to be tied to her? Partly, yeah. Of course she did. But what would that mean for her?

Grabbing the rest of the scrolls belonging to her family's section, she joined Tsunade at the table situated at the centre of the archives room, placing them down neatly in their correct order.

She'd attempted reading the first scroll and failed miserably when she'd reached symbols that she had no hopes in understanding. Much to her chagrin and great disappointment, it didn't get any easier.

"Chances are, neither of us will be able to fully decipher this," Tsunade stated distractedly, honey brown eyes narrowed and soaking in the contents of the scroll. "A few signs I distantly recognise, but not enough for them to really mean anything."

"Do you think my family might know?" she questioned. Even though her mind warned Sakura not to get her hopes up (not only because her father was so lame and refused to acknowledge anything that merely _hinted_ at shinobi, but also because the scrolls were _ancient_ and the chances of the symbols being long forgotten were way too high), she couldn't help but let herself _hope_. "That there might be some kind of code somewhere?"

Lips turning downwards for a second when she caught sight of the same symbol as earlier, Tsunade straightened and eyed the other scrolls. "It's possible. But this here–" She tapped the small section with obvious frustration. "–is bothering me. It's eerily similar to–"

"To?"

Dread from eagerly interrupting her shishou seized her heart and for a brief moment, she feared the worst, that she'd pissed the blonde off and was about to face her wrath. Instead, Tsunade sighed and shook her head, dismissing the disrespect without a second thought.

"It's eerily similar to the code the Uchiha Clan used – well, back in Madara's time, anyway."

There was that name again. Infamously known throughout the shinobi nations for being the only man who could go up against the Shodai Hokage and fight toe-to-toe with him, wreaking havoc and threatening to change entire landscapes with his fighting style (if it hadn't been grossly exaggerated over the years, that was). Just his name evoked fear, Tsunade had told her moments ago, but back then, people had respected strength and power above all else. They'd admired him greatly.

"Why is that?" Tsunade murmured thoughtfully.

Why indeed? Even if they were lovers, why would her ancestor change her code to coincide with another clan's? If her shishou's suspicions were correct, and her ancestor _had_ been a shinobi, then wouldn't that cause trouble? Wouldn't they be outed as some kind of informant? A traitor to their own clan?

At the blonde's order to grab a plain scroll and pen, Sakura did so, also collecting several more of Madara's scrolls along the way.

They spent a while in the archives room, their heads bowed in deep concentration as they attempted to decipher the scrolls. Whenever they spotted a symbol that mirrored Madara's, they jotted it down on the empty scroll, setting it aside for later research. Aside from that, however, it became upsettingly apparent fairly quickly that they wouldn't get any further than that point.

It stunned Sakura how similar it all was. Some symbols appeared to be her own, but the majority were similar to the Uchiha Clan's, making it obvious the pair were tied together more firmly than being mere lovers.

"But wouldn't that make me the weakest Uchiha to have ever lived?" she whined suddenly, surprising her shishou.

Chuckling captured her attention but did nothing to bring Sakura out of her self-pity. All she could do was stare unhappily at her shishou as the older woman brought a hand to her lips, covering her mirthful laughter despite the fact her creasing eyes gave it away horribly. She'd always known Tsunade was a sadist, but to laugh at her embarrassment was cruel even for her!

"Hardly," Tsunade tried to placate her, though the smirk took away from it. The next words settled her a little more, however and she wondered if it was because of the more heartfelt approach. "Even with him being my grandfather, I'm nowhere near the level our Shodai Hokage was at. I can't even compare."

Leaning back onto her hands, the blonde assessed her for several moments, and Sakura found herself having to refrain from shying away from such a reflective expression. The only thing stopping her from feeling judged was the fact that Tsunade felt similarly to herself – and she was at least two generations younger than her, too.

Still, her shishou was not a weak woman and proved that daily. Just the thought of evoking her wrath kept many in line, for they'd all quickly discovered the rumours weren't made up, and that she had the strength of a hundred men to back up her talk. Then, there was her medical prowess – the main reason behind Sakura wishing to train under her. Tsunade, for lack of better term, was a total badass and if she truly didn't come close to her grandfather's level, then just how powerful was that generation of shinobi? Would _she_ ever be able to compare, Sakura wondered?

No, she was being stupid. Even if she was somehow connected to the mystery Haruno woman and Uchiha Madara, then it would no doubt be very distantly – to the point where it was barely even considered a connection, unless she was a direct descendant of the woman's, which Sakura highly doubted.

"Uchiha Shisui is teaching you too, correct?"

She sat up straighter and frowned. Not a total idiot, Sakura could tell where the conversation was headed, and felt herself recoiling inwardly at the mere thought of approaching such a proud man and asking that he humoured her in decoding a previous patriarch's scrolls. Was that even allowed, considering how protective the clans were of their secrets?

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

Nodding thoughtfully, her shishou's gaze returned to the scrolls and she heaved a sigh. "Well, looks like he has a new mission as of this moment."

No way.

Would she really do that to the guy? Wasn't that an abuse of power? Wouldn't the clan have it out for her if she forced Shisui to decode their ancient scrolls?

"Honestly, Tsunade-shishou, it's okay. I don't–"

"Don't worry – I won't tread on anyone's toes," she said with a chuckle, then gestured to the cause of their frustration. "I'll simply ask Shisui to decode the ones that match up to your ancestor's. Considering the implications of them being similar, and his being sweet on you enough to train you, he shouldn't protest too much."

He only did it because Itachi asked him to, and it wasn't like he went out of his way to train her either, Sakura wanted to argue. Whenever he had a free couple of days, he would dedicate a few hours out of each day to watch over her training and apply corrections or hand out new tasks.

As well as that, she totally didn't count the surprise attacks whenever he returned from a mission (sometimes still dressed in full uniform, too), when she was out in the village and minding her own business. They were just downright mean at times, because how the hell was she supposed to know he was even _in_ the village if she didn't see him earlier in the day? Or heard about his return?

" _Ah, but that's all a part of our training, Sakura-chan,"_ he'd told her cheerfully, unconcerned by the villagers who'd given them a wide berth as she almost hyperventilated from the fear his genjutsu evoked. " _You need to learn to be ready for anything."_

Shaking the awful memory from her mind, she allowed her gaze to return to the cluttered table. _If_ Shisui agreed to lend them a hand and they managed to decipher the scrolls, then what? They confirmed what was pretty obvious to them already? They found out the woman was actually a kunoichi? Would that even change anything?

Resisting the urge to sigh and show her shishou her frustrations, Sakura nodded and smiled in thanks. Even if it didn't change anything, she was grateful for the support and genuine curiosity the older woman displayed. Rather than brushing it off and making her seem childish for getting so involved in a life that potentially meant nothing to her, Tsunade silently told her that the inquisitiveness and need to find out more was valid. It was nothing to be ashamed of.

"Well, we've spent long enough in here. Gather the scrolls and bring them to my office. We'll start your training shortly after."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

* * *

"What's this?" questioned Shisui once the doors were shut behind him, voice as light as his mood.

It'd been a gruelling day of training, made longer by her wandering mind as it worked against her, allowing Tsunade to land several deadly blows. Eventually, her shishou grew tired of pummelling a distracted teenager and showed great mercy by cutting the day short, barking out orders to have Shisui in her office within the hour so that they could return to training.

"That's what we want you to tell us."

The ominous tone of her shishou's voice had him frowning between them, and Sakura felt her stomach lurch at the clear uncertainty that flashed in his gaze briefly. The last thing she ever wanted was to torment the person training her – and not just because he'd torture her for it afterwards – so as fun as Tsunade believed tormenting him to be, she knew she had to cut it short for her own sake.

"I was looking at my family's scrolls," Sakura intervened. Her shoulders raised ever so slightly with a flinch, trying to make up for her resisting the urge to duck her head at the rude interruption. The disappointed huff of annoyance from the blonde wasn't the worst reaction, and Sakura counted her lucky stars that was all she received. "But the furthest they go back to is _this-_ " She held out one particular scroll before tossing it over, watching as Shisui caught it effortlessly. "And this woman uses the same codes as your ancestors once did."

Shisui didn't unravel the scroll, instead keeping his steady gaze on hers. The playful, lighthearted mood had disappeared, but she knew that didn't necessarily mean he was in a bad one either. It meant he was serious about the task being handed to him – his serious side, Sakura recognised with a flutter of excitement. It meant he was open to the idea of helping.

"And you want to know why."

"Please?" she asked sweetly.

"You understand the position this puts me in," he said more to Tsunade than Sakura, an eyebrow twitching like it wanted to raise. "Should the elders of my clan discover that I am deciphering this for you–"

"That's where the loophole comes in," stated the blonde, smiling with the same sweetness Sakura had displayed. Somehow it seemed more sinister on her than anything, however, and she resisted the urge to shiver at the promises of pain. "It appears our student may have a connection to one of your own ancestors – I have no doubt they'd be interested to find out who and how."

Interest sparked to life in his eyes, and Sakura caught a glimpse of understanding also. What the hell did that mean though?

"Who?"

Tsunade smirked, knowing she'd managed to sink her hooks into him. "Uchiha Madara."

The interest grew exponentially as he continued to assess her and she felt almost self-conscious, her newfound insecurity of being the weakest Uchiha returning to the forefront of her mind.

"Leave it to me, Hokage-sama."


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone was dead.

Everything was in ruins, their tents shredded and sprayed with the blood of her clansmen. Meals that were in the process of being prepared were strewn about across their campsite, the toys of children left abandoned. At a time such as that, one of her concerns should not have been the necklace her father gifted her when she turned thirteen being amongst the lost belongings of her clan, but it was because _it was gone_ and she felt bare without it, having never taken it off since her birthday.

Body jerking in a mixture of both pain and despair, she dragged herself through the fiery rubble of what was once her home, bare feet cut and blistering as she walked.

The smoke from the fires filled her lungs and burned them ruthlessly, squandering any hope that may have remained of her somehow surviving the massacre that had taken what was once the proud Haruno Clan down such a devastating path.

"Someone," she called out thickly, hand returning to her mouth and nose. "Is anybody… a-alive?"

She was… the last to carry the noble name.

Her green eyes stung, but whether that was from the smoke or the never ending tears was unknown.

Whether it be by her unlikely survival and the path that would take her down or the annihilation of her entire clan, that day would go down in history. It would be a change in the world. While they were not up to the standards of the Uchiha or Senju clans, they were powerful in their own right, their medical-ninjutsu some of the finest around due to exemplary control. Many travelled for miles for their skills or asked that they join them in battle, believing them to be miracle workers. There was no clan like her own, who had many allies seeing as nobody wished to work against them. It was equal to condemning oneself.

_Someone had just taken out a whole clan of healers._

Knees finally buckling under the weight of her sorrow and grief, she dropped her hands to the crisp ground, the sounds of her sobs drowned out by the roaring flames around her.

* * *

"Oh, Gods. This is…"

"A massacre," sighed Shisui as he remained seated beside her.

Sakura's eyes were glued to the freshly written scroll in her hands, Shisui's calligraphy neat and enviable. He'd only been given the task of deciphering the original scroll an hour ago, yet he'd already returned with the first part for her, easily admitting that he was also intrigued by the possibility of her being a descendent of Uchiha Madara's.

It read more like a diary, he'd told her upon returning. When asked why it was so unlike other scrolls in the archives, Shisui had been unsure, though proposed that it was potentially written by someone young enough not to know _how_ to properly report events, which explained the childish handwriting.

"But why?" Sakura questioned. She was certain she was still pale, for that horrendous sickening feeling had yet to pass. It was powerful enough to refuse her the chance to really absorb all that she'd read, instead fixated on the unfair slaughter. "Why would someone massacre a clan of healers?"

He exhaled through his nose, half-heartedly gesturing to the scroll. "She said they had many allies – it could have been enemies of said allies."

Yeah, she supposed. Tsunade often warned her of the dangers surrounding being a medic-nin, as the first move in battle was usually to dispose of them, essentially lowering the survival rate of the entire team. That was why she was training her to not be _just_ a medic-nin.

Leaning her head back against the wall with a heavy sigh, Sakura allowed it to loll to the side after a moment so that she could look at Shisui directly. He was quite clearly perplexed, his eyes skimming over the next part of the scroll before darting to the self-made decoder by his side. He was the diligent worker, though Sakura supposed she should have expected that considering his devotion to their training days. Nothing was ever half-assed or a guess – he gave it his all each and every time (she just wished sometimes, when it came to genjutsu, he _didn't_ go all out against her).

Outside of that and the rumours that followed his name, it was safe to say she didn't know much about Uchiha Shisui.

"What is it?" he asked without looking her way.

Blushing at the embarrassment of being caught staring, Sakura averted her gaze, busying herself with picking the lint off her qipao. "Nothing, I just…" She smiled and huffed out a nervous breath. "What if I _am_ a distant relative of Uchiha Madara's?"

Shisui snorted at that, sarcasm dripping from his words. "Then I'm sure the clan will love to hear all about it."

How didn't they know, though? Surely, somewhere down the line, _someone_ from his lineage possessed the sharingan? And surely they would have had their ancestry questioned in response to that?

Unless…

Unless that was why her family were no longer shinobi? Was the reasoning behind their abandonment of the profession due to fear of awakening the sharingan? No, that sounded so ridiculous even to her! Why would anyone fear _possessing_ the sharingan when it gave the user so many massive advantages? Sakura knew _she_ sure as hell wouldn't have minded having the sharingan but was saddened to admit that the likelihood of that happening was basically impossible.

How many generations were between her and the mystery Haruno woman? A minimum of four, Sakura was willing to bet. And going strictly off what she'd heard around the village and caught glimpses of in the hospital: even half Uchiha struggled to awaken or utilise their sharingan for prolonged periods of time. What chance did she stand, really? Even if she was a descendent of Madara's, Uchiha blood _barely_ ran in her veins.

"Well, it's safe to say this is a tragic start to your journey of self-discovery," Shisui said with a sigh, quill stilling long enough for him to read over what he'd deciphered so far. "I almost feel as though I should step up as a caring sensei and shield you from it."

Green eyes rolled because _surely_ it wasn't that bad? "Can I read it anyway?"

"It's your clan," was all he replied with before handing it over.

Yes, she thought with a small flutter of excitement. As tragic as it all was, it _was_ her clan.

* * *

When she next stirred, it took several long moments to realise her head was thudding lightly against an armoured chest, one she vaguely recognised but couldn't immediately put a name to.

Not that it truly mattered.

What more could be done to her now that she was without her clansmen? Her siblings? Her parents? After she'd witnessed their deaths and was forced to flee at the request of her loved ones?

Her mother had begged of her to run after watching the fall of her two sons and husband, not able to withstand the sight of another of her children being murdered so brutally. And she'd left to the soundtrack of her screams for mercy, of her noises of anguish and sobs of terror and she could only guess that her mother's body was being used in the same unforgivable way as the other women's. She didn't even need to close her eyes to recall the gruesome sounds or sights, for they were to the forefront of her mind, determined in their task of driving her insane.

Why had she run? Why had she even attempted to save her meagre, meaningless life? Was her return to the scenes of savagery morbid curiosity? A sad attempt to save someone? A not so secret desire to cross paths with one of her enemies, hoping they would cut her down?

"Izuna, go ahead and send word to Father about the Haruno Clan's downfall."

"Can you manage the girl alone?"

"Do I look incompetent to you?"

Complete mental exhaustion granted her with little more than the ability to stare ahead of herself, the blur of the forest whizzing by them eventually causing her to grow dizzy. She didn't have the strength to request the boy carrying her to slow down. More importantly, she supposed it would be considered bad form for her to complain about _how_ she was rescued.

"That was not what I-"

"Just go," the boy carrying her demanded. "We will be right behind you."

Shutting her aching, dry eyes, she longed for the darkness of unconsciousness, the one strong enough to keep the memories at bay and grant her sweet, merciful relief.

Moments later and the potential for unconsciousness was disturbed when their speed decreased slightly and the arms around her slackened somewhat, granting her the ability to breathe more easily.

"You can stop playing dead. I know that you are awake."

How rude, part of her thought irritably, but the majority won and so she remained silent, merely opening her eyes in acknowledgement. Although she knew it was considered massively disrespectful to ignore not just anyone, but a man especially, she couldn't bring herself to care. What more could they do to her?

"You are a Haruno."

Weakly, she tipped her head back on the bicep cradling her back, staring up at the boy who barely spared her a glance.

He appeared angry, however she caught a glimpse of his clan's emblem and knew not to view it as anything personal – he was an Uchiha. They were notorious for their stern, aristocratic features.

Uchiha.

Resisting the urge to sigh, she nodded in response to his question, a part of her relaxing at the knowledge of being in safe hands. The Uchiha Clan happened to be one of her clan's many allies, and certainly the fiercest ally at that. If only they had been there to protect them when they needed it, just as her clan had for them in their bloody battles.

No, blaming others for such an atrocity was wrong and unfair of her.

"Rest for now," he said with an air of something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Was it frustration? Disbelief over the horrors he'd witnessed? "Our greatest ally has been wiped out with seemingly little resistance, meaning injured or not, Father will demand answers from you once we return."

Odd how she hadn't even taken much notice of her own injuries.

* * *

"How old do you think she was here?"

Shisui paused in accepting the rewritten scroll once more, frowning down at the contents of the original. She'd always struggled in getting a read on Uchiha men and sadly, that hadn't increased much over the years of being around them. So, she could only stare at his expression and guess at how he was feeling, leaning more towards thoughtful than anything else.

"Possibly your age," he answered after careful consideration. "Maybe even younger. It states earlier on that she was thirteen when handed a necklace from her father. I can't imagine she was much older than that."

That was… heart-breaking.

"It was completely different back then," Shisui continued with a weighted sigh, her only indication of what emotions he was potentially experiencing in that moment. Gesturing to the seemingly endless scrolls around them, he continued, saying, "There were no shinobi villages – it was a constant battle for territory and survival. There was no such thing as a childhood back then."

"Like a never-ending war," Sakura mumbled.

"Basically."

Although she didn't know anything about the girl in the scrolls other than the fact that they were distantly related, Sakura felt her heart go out to her. The horrors she'd witnessed and lived through were undoubtedly terrible, and she wasn't sure if she herself possessed the mental strength needed to pull through such an experience. Hell, sometimes Sakura got choked up just _witnessing_ her shishou's heartbreak and wanted to crumble up and cry for her – and that was second-hand grief. There was no way she would be able to endure losing her whole family!

"It will be best to do this section at a time," stated Shisui after several long moments of assessing her. "I understand you wish to know more about your past, but there is no telling how dark this girl's world became following this first entry."

Understandable, she thought to herself while simultaneously ramming a mental shoulder into the snarling Inner-Sakura who demanded to find everything out that instant. Gods, she was so irrational and demanding that it often times rubbed off on her, but like her she would allow it in that moment. Not only was it to protect her mental health, but Shisui's too. Submerging themselves in a child's grief and solitude while navigating such a wretched, violent world would undoubtedly take its toll on them.

Sakura took a moment to bite down on her lower lip, surveying the Uchiha Clan's vast scrolls as they loomed over the pair of them, their entries one of the greatest in the whole of the archive's room.

"Maybe life got better for her after joining your clan?" she whispered hopefully, all the while her heart ached because Shisui's eyes lowered to the ground, like he already knew snippets of the bloody future that had awaited her ancestor. It wasn't entirely impossible since he no doubt would have read his own clan's history at some point in his lifetime, most definitely Madara's considering he was once patriarch. "Maybe she found a life for herself with them?"

His head came back against the wall with a quiet thud, expression grave as he once more met her eye. "Anything involving Uchiha Madara never has a happy ending, Sakura. Remember that."


End file.
